Free Falling
free falling
through the hollow
finger tips straining
desperately, to hold on…
…to what?
That certainty that alludes me…?
one can not grasp that
which is not in reach
I invoke the screams of Alice
beckoned further down the spiral
by the Darkness
that is
my Rabbit Hole
as every nerve cell in my being
chooses to coagulate in my chest
pelting, fruitlessly
like stone cold hail
against the window to my soul
too numb to retaliate
Tired
from the ravishing anxieties
that appear to have swallowed whole
the gravity
of
my being
Little girl, Little me
Little girl
…Little me
Sunshine soaked comfort
Caresses tender, innocence
Salt tainted sea breeze
Augmenting parched desire
An inner thirst
For a want, then unnamed
…Yet secretly possessed
Gratitude exudes
For a pink bunny to hold dear
Your sweetness echoes
in floral strains, near
Such reassurance
In recognition
….A glimmer of me
Caught dancing
between
Shadows of you
Dreamtime Lore
They came with their God and their book
Told him he was outcast, naked and poor
Shunned his tucker, language and lore
Tried to bleach him
With their righteous weapons
Their guns and disease
To scrub and scour all trace
Of what had gone before…
They came, sirens blaring
And took his children away
Filling him with their poison
“It will be better this way”
Yet the cockatoos screeched
a raucous chorus of ridicule
That echoed throughout the land
For the white invaders
Could never extinguish
Spirit’s dreamtime tryst
Between
Mother country
…And this ancient man
Riding Rainbows
Little girls
My growing girls
Your sweet giggles of innocence
Still tippy-toe
Across my heart
Hear my whispers
Kissed gently upon you
Listen for their song
That only silence knows
Keep riding rainbows
My Little Girls
For loves, thrills and adventures
Lie eagerly in wait
Stretch yourselves with courage
(And delight !)
Through the clouds that will float by
‘Til your finger tips come to rest
Upon your horizons
And when your dreams and ambitions
Land momentarily
To catch their breath
Toss me a star
And I’ll join you there…
The Well Within
I always knew
the well ran deep
A seemingly bottomless pit
So dark and hollow
That for such a long time
I dared not look into…
For the vastness scared me
When I peered inside
Having never learnt
There were walls
Called boundaries
With special nooks
That lay within
To tuck away
Little reserves
of love
Just
…for
Me
Ebb and Flow
You draw me to you…
Each grain of tender energy
Leaves trails
Along the valleys
of breath intertwined
then, exhaled
To settle
Between the ebb and flow
of the gentle, knowing tide
that binds us
The Lost Children
Whose child ?
Flinches, Winces
Burns inside
Silently screaming
Breathless
Tongue-tied
Whose child ?
Cringes, Shudders
Hides their eyes
Compliantly settles
Guts knotted
Despised
Whose child ?
Nameless, Blameless
Belittled
by a Bureaucracy, blind
To lips pursed in anguish
…Yet no words to describe
Who will protect the children
Society denies ?
A Thank You Note to Memory
Memory
Oh Memories…
Where do you hide ?
I sense your presence …Lurking
At the corners of my mind
Stealthily I creep
Feel the slowing of my breath
Ready to pounce
When your shadow takes a rest
I blink and you are gone
Trails of confusion
Litter your space
Yet I still feel you in my cells
In my bones
And on my face
You are the most faithful play mate
Of this game that has no end
The rules remain unwritten
Tactics rehearsed so well…
You know I’ll never catch you
And I know …
You’ll never tell
Hope
Hope shimmers
Rays of golden thread
Cleverly interwoven
Between bleak greys and browns
Providing enlightenment
To the fabric of life
Man oh Man !
Men of courage, honour and resolve
Mere fantasies created
Through stories once told
Whilst here stand before me
Boys parading
in grown men’s bodies
Size ten boots
Boast of lands conquered
Yet rolled up sleeves
belie the frayed seams
Of the Self and Soul
…That read like a little black book
Scrawled with every nameable insecurity
With lips pursed
To contain my disappointment
(For no hero exists to slay the troll)
I send another on his way
…Those desert eyes…
To lap at some other oasis of need
No such mirage engulfs my energy
For with the autonomy of every womanly muscle
I must drag forth the resolve
To be my own protector
my own husband
…my own father
Pathways
On tiptoe we tread
Tentatively tracing
New stepping stones
Before us
Hesitancy seeks to confirm
The offerings
of
Wholeness
With magnetic force
the mystery of possibiliites
Draws us deeper
…Closer
Clock ticking
Heart trembling
To step…
………or to Leap ?
Disquiet
Your silence is deafening
Not even ear-plugs of disdain
Can quieten the echo
That richochets through my heart
Still…
I am not a pin cushion
I am not a pin cushion
Though I’m soft
and pretty
Yes
A malleable pacifist
I may be…
My core is not filled
with stuffing
For you to sink
your blunt end
Into
Thanks to Sara Fryd for the inspiration from her poem,
An Only Daughter, published in What if…only one child remained ?
More than Words
Words spewed forth
Carelessly
Selfishly
A sausage string
of
consonants and vowels
Syllables ring
In the ears of a child
Decoding
Fragmenting…
…Syntax error alert !
Naive cognition fails to compute
Yet
Intentions seep
From veiled meanings
Insidiously
Irreparably
Crafting the scar-tissue
Around the Heart
of
Self
Words spewed forth
Cutting
Wounding
Enmeshed in a tangle of lesions
Clotting pathways
To
the Soul
Hear My Cry !
Thud …Thud
The pavement says
Love …Love
Echoes
in my head
An anchor pulls
From deep below
Mother Earth
Sends a stabilising
Flow
Thud …Thud
The pavement says
Love …Love
Echoes
in my head
Arms outreached
To the ethereal sky
I surrender
Hear me cry !
Thud …Thud
The pavement says
Love, dear love
Echoes
in my head
…You have Spirit on your side !
Birth of the Soul
A formless puddle
Of energy
Rippling, softly
Here I float
Surrounded by Light
I swell
In rapturous harmony
Existential delight !
Must I go ?
Must I choose
The trauma
And heartache
Of this Life ?
Darkness descends
A bloodied womb
My cradle
The beating heart
My only constancy
Oh the pain !
I wince
My face distorted
Squinting
at the brightness
Reluctantly
I emerge
Into the cold
Soul Purpose
Oh Soul so tender
How you flinch at my touch !
A purplish glow
Replaces the Light
Revealing the bruises
Inflicted by
Life
Why choose this suffering?
Divine creator
of chaos
I cry…
And I plead
Take me back to the beginning !
Oh how I yearn to know!
I am willing
Heart wide open
Listening
Waiting
For enlightenment
to unfold…
Freedom
stealthily
in search of the key
we dip into pockets
near and far
yet to discover
the illusive freedom
exists within
———————————
Thanks to Sara Fryd for the inspiration !
Sam the Seagull
Just when I needed you
There you would be
Paddling in the shallows
A lone figure under a tree
When I walked
You followed
Watching from afar
We spoke the same language
Shared footprints in the sand
I did not choose you
You made me your friend
Circling my energy
To love
and defend
With you in sight
My travelling companion
I learnt how to skip
And jump the puddles in my path
I felt your melancholy
Sensed the longing for your tribe
So touched by your presence
You never went unnoticed
My feathery spirit guide
Intentions for my Sister-Friend
Woman-Mother-Sister-Friend
Listen intently
To
Mystic musings
Do not dispel
The inner rumblings
Of primal knowing
And of self-
preservation
Revved up by Mars
And its astro-wielding
Drag yourself out
From the merde-ridden nest
…where mad men dwell
Access peaceful resolve
And with gilded grace
Refuse to endorse
The slog of self-reliance
Demand all those who desire
A share
Of your domestic landscape
Honour your virtues
Or be flushed out in style
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