My Hopes, Memories and Dreams

Care Bears in the clouds

care bears in the clouds

One of my earliest childhood memories is of being whisked up into the arms of an older brother and taken outside into the backyard of the family home where we would sit atop the timber picnic style outdoor table and chat about anything. It didn’t matter what the topic was. Maybe my brother would point to some birds flying overhead, or we would laugh at the antics of the pet dog, or even look for Care Bears in the clouds. It didn’t matter. It was a distraction you see and I think even as a four or five year old I knew it, but it was easier just to pretend. Somewhere inside the house, usually in the kitchen or front living room, my mother would be on the floor, hysterical and unwilling or unable to pick herself up. My father and maybe another brother or two would take an arm or shoulder each, in an attempt to lift her up and escort her to her bedroom.

Somehow, someone must have been delegated the responsibility of removing me from the scene. Considering I was seven to ten years or so younger than all my four brothers, I imagine they were accustomed to the drama but wanted to shield me from it. My memories of these instances present in quick, sharp snapshots, like the clicking frames of a camera; and usually at angles that just allow for a glimpse around the corner of the dining room wall or behind a kitchen bench, as I looked back over the shoulder of whoever was carrying me towards the back door. It was confusing and scary, but easier not to ask questions and seek out those Care Bears in the clouds instead.


3 responses

  1. Forrester McLeod

    Gosh. That’s sad and very, very lovely and gentle. I’m glad you had your brothers as your champions….and nature as your blanket. You know, there is a photographer who is documenting people’s first memories. I’m sending you a link to his blog. I love his pictures and left a memory on one of his pages that was inspired by his work. He wrote back asking me for my first memory. You write in images that he would probably love. I think he’s recreating one first memory a day through his photography. He asked me to please spread the word. If you’re interested (I hope it’s okay to leave this!) he’s at :

    Have a Great One and Thanks!

    July 4, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    • colleenincairns

      Thankyou Forrester for your lovely, if unexpected comment. This memory is certainly a reminder to me of the loving energy emitted by our natural environment that can provide healing and comfort in difficult times. Sadly I no longer have contact with my brothers. We have all moved on in our own ways.
      Thanks for the link. I have checked out Jorge’s blog and website. It sounds like a great project and one I’d be honoured to be a part of!

      July 4, 2009 at 11:51 pm

      • Forrester McLeod

        Ah! I have a sister like that. Odd. It’s an odd situation. I empathize. You’re lovely though! You stopped by my site and I always stop by and say hello to people who take the time….so that’s where I came from! Okay…I’m off.

        Have a Great One!

        July 5, 2009 at 1:39 am

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