The Well Within
I always knew
the well ran deep
A seemingly bottomless pit
So dark and hollow
That for such a long time
I dared not look into…
For the vastness scared me
When I peered inside
Having never learnt
There were walls
Called boundaries
With special nooks
That lay within
To tuck away
Little reserves
of love
Just
…for
Me
Pierced through the Heart
Like a needle
Pierced straight through the heart
Desire
Loss
Craving
…the inaccessible…
Patterns that bleed
Through each year
Each month
Week
Day
Moment
Of the tapestry
That is
My Childhood Story
Those knots
in my stomach
…Stitched so tight
Leave gaping holes
In my core
My sense of love
for myself
So intrinsically linked
With
You
Sweetest Thing
Unraveling inner purpose
Requires exquisite execution
Bravely we must grasp
At
the corners
of those shiny layers
shrouding the Self
And in one delicate
motion
With a twist of Faith
Release the pull of opposites
To reveal the sweetness within
Hear My Cry !
Thud …Thud
The pavement says
Love …Love
Echoes
in my head
An anchor pulls
From deep below
Mother Earth
Sends a stabilising
Flow
Thud …Thud
The pavement says
Love …Love
Echoes
in my head
Arms outreached
To the ethereal sky
I surrender
Hear me cry !
Thud …Thud
The pavement says
Love, dear love
Echoes
in my head
…You have Spirit on your side !
Birth of the Soul
A formless puddle 
Of energy
Rippling, softly
Here I float
Surrounded by Light
I swell
In rapturous harmony
Existential delight !
Must I go ?
Must I choose
The trauma
And heartache
Of this Life ?
Darkness descends
A bloodied womb
My cradle
The beating heart
My only constancy
Oh the pain !
I wince
My face distorted
Squinting
at the brightness
Reluctantly
I emerge
Into the cold
Soul Purpose
Oh Soul so tender
How you flinch at my touch !
A purplish glow
Replaces the Light
Revealing the bruises
Inflicted by
Life
Why choose this suffering?
Divine creator
of chaos
I cry…
And I plead
Take me back to the beginning !
Oh how I yearn to know!
I am willing
Heart wide open
Listening
Waiting
For enlightenment
to unfold…
My Friends – My Spiritual Kin !
This morning I woke with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the support of my friends which doubled when I read some beautiful comments on my blog. I’ve been inspired to re-post this piece on friendship that I wrote a while back.
To all my new Blog Land friends – Thank you ! You will never know the impact you are having on my journey towards greater self-awareness and self-love.
My friends are my spiritual-kin. This is not a new revelation but after spending recent days communicating with some of my most treasured friends, I have been awakened to the sum of their influence upon who I see when I look inside myself. For although true friends are often described as mirrors, reflective of our hopes and dreams about who we really desire to be, who emphatically applaud and encourage us on our way, they must also bear witness to who we really are. It is because we cherish the uniqueness of their experiences and their learnings so profoundly, that we can accept their gentle critique of the sometimes flawed nature of our thinking. A friendship that stimulates self-knowing by not always supporting our ego-centricity but that challenges our self-concepts and identifies our insecurities, can be an arousing breath of fresh air to the soul.
In this world we are often consumed by the roles we play, whether as someone’s mother or partner, in our professional life, or in fulfilment of our cultural identity or status. True and honest friendships ignite greater awareness of our inner identity. These friendships provide a sense of freedom…a release from the role-playing and a peeling back of the layers that mask the essence of who we are.
Distinct from family relationships which can stifle us by promoting conformity to the group, obedience and expectation, true friendships act like a loving injection of unflappable courage. They promote individuality and self-love, and always will encourage us to leap towards the most fulfilling path. For just as we want to achieve our best for ourselves, our true friends…our spiritual kin, desire the same for us without competitive zeal or secret condemnation.
Thank you my friends !
Whale Song
Listen…
There speaks a greater voice
A lush, spirited melody
We speak with wisdom
Not of creed nor race
Can you hear the harmony ?
Twirling with magnificent grace
Watch us soar
Towards the sky
We fly !
Frolicking like angels
In worship of the wind’s lullaby
‘Til suddenly…
A beckoning
An ancestral calling
Echoes from the deep below
To take us
Where the feelings go
——————————————
These photos were taken on Saturday 22nd of August just off the coast of Cairns. My daughters and I embarked on a tour boat from the Cairns marina at 9am to watch the wondrous Humpback Whales frolic and play in nature’s playground just off the Great Barrier Reef. They put on a spectacular show for hours until they seemed to get bored of us and retreated. (I only wish I had a better camera to capture their true magnificence ! )
The following is a link to a beautiful Dreamtime story from the Aboriginal people, the first inhabitants of our land. Their Dreamtime stories help us to appreciate the story of creation and the spiritual connection between all creatures and the lands we share. The story is called The Whale’s Awakening and you can find it at : http://www.dreamtime.auz.net/default.asp?PageID=53
Sam the Seagull
Just when I needed you
There you would be
Paddling in the shallows
A lone figure under a tree
When I walked
You followed
Watching from afar
We spoke the same language
Shared footprints in the sand
I did not choose you
You made me your friend
Circling my energy
To love
and defend
With you in sight
My travelling companion
I learnt how to skip
And jump the puddles in my path
I felt your melancholy
Sensed the longing for your tribe
So touched by your presence
You never went unnoticed
My feathery spirit guide
Intentions for my Sister-Friend
Woman-Mother-Sister-Friend 
Listen intently
To
Mystic musings
Do not dispel
The inner rumblings
Of primal knowing
And of self-
preservation
Revved up by Mars
And its astro-wielding
Drag yourself out
From the merde-ridden nest
…where mad men dwell
Access peaceful resolve
And with gilded grace
Refuse to endorse
The slog of self-reliance
Demand all those who desire
A share
Of your domestic landscape
Honour your virtues
Or be flushed out in style
Past Life Dream
During mid April I experienced what I consider to be a past life dream. On waking I had an unshakeable knowing that this was no ordinary dream. I had been transported to another time, another country, inhabiting another body from another culture and possibly exposed to a significant event in history. I was there.
The dream unfolds…
It’s late afternoon, the wind is soothingly warm. Look down..there is grass underfoot. Look up…there is a clearing and sand…the peninsula of a small island. Dense forest not too far away. Many people have gathered. A festive feel permeates the atmosphere. What are we celebrating ? This is not home…not familiar…a holiday destination perhaps ?
The woman is Chinese, or at least of Asian appearance. But Chinese I think. Glossy black hair cut in a neat bob, fine boned and somewhat fragile. She cradles an infant no more than four months of age, looking down at her precious child…wait…those are my arms…this is my child I hold. This woman is me ! Another child, a girl maybe five years of age stands alongside me; and a man, slight in stature and quite young also …he is my husband.
Sudden commotion. A deafening blast in the distance. A huge fireball emblazons the sky line in varying hues of red and orange. The sandy beach that extends along the western side of the island is quickly filled with people running towards us. I see bloodied faces, clothing torn to shreds and blackened by soot. The terror in their eyes is horrific. Panic engulfs me. “Quick !” they scream, “To the boats, to the boats”.
Children in tow, we follow the crowd towards a pier on the opposite side of the island. There is a scramble to find a spot on the boats. I am sitting with my children, their grandparents sit alongside us. I extend my hand out towards my husband who still stands on the shore. “Come” I say, there is room now”. He shakes his head. A stern frown furrows his brow. I am confused. What’s happening ? What is the problem ?
In that moment, as the observer / participant of this dream, I understand that initially there was no room for him on the boat and the grandparents and I had consented to leave the island without him. Leaving him behind to an unknown fate. His refusal to then join us was based on his hurt and pride that we were prepared to go without him.
Eyes open…
On wakening I had no doubt this was a past life dream. The sequence of events, the clarity, the profound sense of importance this dream held for me was like nothing I have ever experienced with previous dreaming. And I dream often !
The process of writing this piece has suddenly awakened within me an understanding of the meaning and significance of this dream that naturally, I have also been pondering. In my current life time I have experienced a huge sense of loss and abandonment. I have felt unwanted, unloved and detached from my birth family. A sense of being a lone Caruso in this world…my island. Is this the karmic trauma I have brought with me into this lifetime ? I was willing to abandon a loved one therefore the same fate has befallen me and now I must experience the pain and hurt I inflicted upon my husband ?
One thing of which I am certain is my gratitude for the exposure to this episode in my past journey and will continue to explore how it may assist my passage through this lifetime. I hope for future instalments !
Over the past few weeks I have researched historical events but have not been able to place the period and context of this dream. I will keep searching.
Please let me know if you have any thoughts…or if you have encountered your own past life dreams.
Colleen DuBois ~ Reflections of Me 
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